Abbe Oye!!

:-) Baito yaar....kuch chaai waai peeyo....baathe karo...

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Location: North Carolina, United States

Well...it depends on what you want to know!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Roomba Vs. Rambha bai! ;-)

A couple of months ago, Silvi and I ordered the Roomba Vacuum cleaner online after almost Zero research. Well, if you must know, Silvi ordered me to get it and I merely placed the order. ┬┐La Inspiraci├│n? - Venky and Soumya ofcourse...the two people who always somehow impossibly manage to surf on the bleeding edge between being nerdy and supercool!! But I digress :-) Anyway, the unit arrived smartly packed (it's a robot after all!) a couple of days later.

After the initial gaa gaa over it, charged the baby up and let it run....and were reasonably happy with the results. It was a bit of a chore for sure... "Roomba proofing" the house.....akin to "baby proofing" the house when you have a little one doing the honours. The first couple of times, it tried to eat cellphone chargers and the somewhat thin floormat in the kitchen. Luckily, we caught it in time to prevent it from ingesting it and getiing a belly ache, the poor thing! Actually, we were more worried about the daughter-of-a-biatch's rotors heating up and burning the carpet, the apartment and us along with it!! :-) Did you notice how smartly and seamlessly I went stereotypical on the gender? :-)

Now that we've figured out what she behaves like, we're in a decent shape to let her run without supervision....but I still have a few grouses here and there...

* IRobot corporation could have done a better job in the shape of the Roomba....kaamwali hain to yaar kuch voluptuous figure to banao instead of the flat plastic disc!! I am reminded of the "Rambha Bai" in the movie Pushpak Viman trying to entice Kamal with her you-know-what!!! Arre, it was a silent movie yaar...and my literary licence permits me to use that name!
*Even on an online sale, the Roomba cost us 140$...I'm sure Rambha bai would happily do it for much lesser. And I know for a fact that Rambha bai would not ask me for replacement filters and other maintenance parts...not to mention me cleaning her every 5 uses!! (which by the way is a whole another blog!)
* Needless to say, the Roomba only does floors..no utensils, going to the grocery store....nothing! nada....zippo!!
*Roomba makes a few weird beeping sounds and happily chews on wires and carpets...Rambha would wish a poilte namaste chewing banarasi paan!! (in my dreams!)
*Roomba has built in sensors to detect bigger chunks of dirt (but picks up smaller messes anyway) and a somewhat pre-programmed path (while it figures out the dimensions), whereas Rambha bai is very skillful in cleaning only visible areas of dirt coz she has another 5 houses to get to in the mornings!!
* one other plus point for Roomba is it doesn't need the lights on....Rambha is not designed to work that way! atleast for cleaning....here I go again!! :-)

Now that I have given you a few examples....I think Rambha bai wins this round of the contest!! Dare to prove me otherwise? :-)

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Gary Larson - What an artist!!

Many of you have probably heard this name before and have seen the catroons of this phenomenal artist! I had seen his work in the past....old magazines, newspapers etc,. but had not paid much attention. I know...pretty dumb not to have...

Anyway, a colleague of mine at work loaned me a few of Larson's compilations...and MAN! What a BLAST they are!!! I am simply blown away by the humor in the drawn image as well as the tagline / caption that usually goes with it. The breadth and depth of topics range from prehistoric dinosaurs to aliens and everything in between...what a guy!! You OWE it to yourself to beg / borrow / steal / buy his books or compilations and partake in the joyful and intelligent creations of this wonderful human being!

I dont believe Larson doodles much anymore....and whenever I see a gifted human being - be it a musician or a cartoonist, stop doing what they do best, I feel somewhat saddened.

Ofcourse it is that individual's decision and life and choice to do as he or she pleases.....but I feel that great people have this sort of responsibility / moral obligation thrust upon them by society, God, call it what you will....to continue to do their good work as a service to society rather than hang up their boots and fade away forever.....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hmmm....olfactory attack!

Just saw this on CNN and couldn't help but blog....and laugh...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/01/18/viagra.smell.reut/index.html

Says here that higher doses of "ze bleu pill" could result in a reduced ability to smell and that is possibly related to an INCREASE in nasal congestion!! :-)

Like a person needing to take Viagra really cares whether he's able to smell (at that time) or not?

A person working in a fish de-scaling plant (I just made that up!) is thinking....hmmm... I can just take this happy little pill and not bother about the job that stinks, quite literally!!

Finally, my faith in the balance of the universe, yin and yang etc,. is strengthened... Reduction in some faculties results in increase in other "areas".... yeah, I know....it's gross...almost a Boratish level of grossness...but what can I do, I'm a guy! :-)

Saturday, January 13, 2007

GURU - Movie Review!

Yeah, Yeah...I know....rub it in!! had said that I wouldn't go unless I got good reviews from 2 independent trustworthy sources blah...blah..blah... BUT kya kare bhai? thoda arm-twisting case ho gaya tha ghar mein....better to endure 2.5 hrs of movie watching than getting beaten by the missus.....so caved in without much of a fight! :-)

Anyway, first day, second show...PACKED theater....Good God! Gandhi class mein bhi seat milna mushkil tha kal...screen ke itna nasdeek the ki Mallika Sherawat ki....arre chod yaar! :-)

I was blown away by the manner in which the opening credits were shown..specially observe the clarity of the checked marks in the paper on which the names are displayed....AMAZING! beautiful typography.....great font selection.....fantastic!

Oh...did you say I didn't talk about the opening Item song from the Item Girl? nothing very different from a soft-porn movie that you may have caught on late night cable....with Ms. Maallika (!) doing what she does best....saving money for the producer by "adjusting" with small dresses.

Coming to the movie itself, good movie, pretty good cinematography - definitely worth seeing once. Good acting by Abhishek overall (except the bhashan at the end). Madhavan is good though used in a limited capacity as is Vidya Balan. Mithunda did better than my expectation! Aishwarya Rai - No comments except that she'll be the choice for a desi female superhero movie next....the first song in the movie, she's dancing on top of a huge rock and there's no fucking way anyone less than a world class rock climber can get on top of that puppy! :-)

Wikipedia Trivia says "During a scene, Aishwarya Rai fell and had a few bruises on her hands and feet, so filming had to be suspended for a few hours while she got first aid". AAHA!! :-) I rest my case.

Coming to the music, who in their right mind would let Bappi Lahiri sing Ek lo ek muft? I would have gladly paid the man to keep his mouth shut....and doubled the price to have the song itself knocked off the movie. I also noticed that Abhishek was not even mouthing the song words accurately....and this has probably been corrected (somewhat) via the soft focus during the shot so it's somewhat"artistically" blurred! :-) Hariharan was the only saving grace in the songs department.

Am I being too harsh on Rahman for dishing this out? I realize I probably am....I mean, nobody can simply keep delivering hits after hits every single time...maybe he is human afterall and needs to get his shot of inspiration to deliver. I think the common man's (mine!) expectations from him is enormous and therefore unrealistic.

As usual, I had my share of laughs (arre yaar....I'm easy to please!) by watching the extras during the dance sequences....MAN!, that alone is paisa vasool!! :-)

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

WTF is going on in the auto world?

I mean, COME ON!!! This is fucking ridiculous!! The 2008 Dodge Viper's displacement is now 8.4 liters and it now makes 600 HP and 560 lbft of torque....

End result? Greenhouse gases are up 25 % and winters in NC will feel like summers in Chennai! FRACK!!! Exaggerating...but....

Can somebody put some freaking sense into the auto makers? I mean, there has to be some sort of a effort / performance ratio there isn't it? E.g. 6 liters = 400 HP = 0 to 60 mph of 4.5 seconds IS NOT EQUAL TO 8.4 liters = 600 HP = 0 to 60 mph of 3.9 seconds. Those precious 0.6 seconds will not help you reach the Can in time if you want to take a dump!! if you catch my drift...

I mean the equation is simple really....IF you really want to prove a point, go build a car that beats the pants off the Veyron....or just shut the fuck up!

Where is the concept of sensible automotive engineering these days? Lotus, Honda....I think it stops there.....what a shame!

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Guru - Soundtrack Review and movie expectations! :-)

Thanks to my dear friend Venky, I got a taste of Guru's soundtrack....sometimes I wonder where I would have had my musical Nirvana without Venky....I am indebted to him :-)

Coming to the el musico, the standout track is Ay Hairathe (no brainer!). Tere Bina seems OK...

Other than that, nothing to write home about....Ek lo ek muft to bhai mujhe muft mein bhi nahin chahiye!!
I dont know if they will grow on me given a couple more times (like RDB, Bluff etc,.)....but I highly doubt it! I have a pretty good nose for these things...usually the first 30 seconds of a track is good enough for a Yay or a Nay...For me to consider the soundtrack of a movie to be a real success, atleast 50 % of the songs must be good...with atleast 2 in the KILLER GOOD category. Not the case this time...

Abhishek and Madhavan means I am somewhat inclined to do... Given that Ms. Ash is LIKE also in the movie, I will LIKE not see the movie unless I LIKE get 2 Independent reviews certifying the movie as LIKE watchable!! :-) Take that, biatch!

Whatchamagonnacallthis?

Oh well, what's new these days? For one thing, switched to the New Blogger.....slightly better interface it looks like. Labels are also available....and provision to change text colors for cluds like me. Fantastico!
I'm never the one at the bleeding edge of technology upgradation....I've learnt enough in my life as an SAP Consultant that it's not always a good idea to do so! :-)

Was walking to my car this evening on my way back from work...there was this non-descriptive bird chirping away to glory. I looked around and since there was no one, I whislted at the bird as loudly as I could. Not at all normal for me to do such a thing, let me tell you...must be the frickin' cold that gave me a brain cramp...that bird made the shrillest (!) possible sound a bird can make and flew away rather abruptly. I realized I might have pissed him off or something, so he got mad at me and went away....I probably told him "Fuck Off!!" in bird-speak.....God Knows!

My work buddy and I were talking the other day..... In short, an exchange of sentences resulted in the following associations made by us..

Scrawny dude --> Kid Rock --> Pam Anderson --> Does Silicone float in water? --> If Yes, bad idea to try and murder Pam by drowning!! :)

Next day: Friend confirmed that silicone does NOT float by trying with his new baby's pacifier in a vessel and declared that silicone sinks.....also found out can be made to float via a air bubble...

Then we started thinking about new inventions....what if we actually put in air into the implants....that would be awesome because it would act as a flotation device and people with boob jobs and butt jobs NEVER have to worry about learning swimming!!

My super-intelligent brain then came up with this idea of WHAT IF we not only just have air in the implants but also have magnets....therefore resulting in naturally better cleavage for the women sans anything else....that would be frickin' awesome!! :-) Talk about a WIN-WIN situation!

However, my friend quickly pointed out the flaws in my theory.....such as paper clips flying off the desk and landing you-know-where, staplers and scissors acting frisky due to magnetic pull etc,. However, I still feel that may not be such a bad thing after all!

Oh well.....time to shut this puppy down and do more creative thinking! :-)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

2007RAMBLE001

My resolution for the new year is that I will number all my rambles from now on....so I can actually track how many times I dump nonsense onto the world wide web, further dirtying the already murky waters. My other resolution is to make no other resolution this year. Reason? Simple...I am incapable of sticking to them in the first place....so no point in making them.

I have come to a conclusion that I am a directionless leaf...an inconsequential being...tossed about by the wind. I know that I am incapable of thoughts and action that result in a pre-determined or even a probable goal.

Until now, I used to wonder what my purpose was...these days I wonder if everyone should have a purpose in the first place? Why? If I'm just drifting aimlessly, then what's wrong with that? I guess that is EXACTLY it! My purpose in life IS to drift aimlessly.

So there....