DVG Cricket Gang Part III - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUMMA!!

Well, if Taks and Umi are already in my blog, can Dumma be far behind? Here's an entire blog dedicated to the dude! :-) He's a misfit to be called Dumma today, but that's how he started and that's what he will remain as far as we're concerned....coming up with new and innovative nicknames is a difficult job! Even before I get started, let me simply state for the record that Dumma's Dad is the COOLEST Dad on this planet! I have never seen and probably will never see anyone else quite like him!!

Dumma - His real name is Ramesh Volety...dont read too much into his last name....He was (and still is) the least volatile of the Shetty Clan! Infact he's so down-to-earth that the Shetty Big-wigs in Bengalooru have issued a fatwa (let's just simplify it in this case to a death-threat) on Dumma's ass for his mostly un-Shettylike behavior!! :-)

On the field, Dumma's batting prowess included mostly hitting the most bizarre version of a pullshot I've ever seen...not to mention a square cut that would make Gundappa Vishwanath roll over in his grave (this I say even though I don't know if GV is dead!) He was unpredictable in the sense that he himself mostly didn't know where he was going to hit the bloody ball...how the f%&k were we supposed to know! His running between the wickets left much to be desired....for obvious reasons! He has been the cause of many run-outs and probably holds the record next to CNP for the maximum run-outs in HIS OWN TEAM!! He had a knack for picking up anything that was well-pitched up...although he did exhibit a distinct displeasure for yorkers....he was a seamy-swingy kind of bowler who got his wickets thanks to some phenomenal fielders!! :-) His fielding skills were mostly around stopping what hit him directly...chasing the ball in the outfield was...let's just say, not his cup of tea!

Off the field was where Dumma shone like the Dhruva Nakshatra!! A mostly disti student and a state ranker, he was the first principles guy! He could derive how X squared multiplied by cube root of...blah blah.....to the integral of...yada yada... equals the number of times your mama beat your ass growing up! all from first principles ofcourse! It is precisely for this Un-Shetty like behavior that he's in Boston today, hiding from all his uncles in Bangalore...a total disgrace to his clan.

For all you people who still question what is this behavior I talk about, Shetty dudes are "supposed" to be businessmen....very savvy buggers at that....they own hotels, grocery stores etc,. and specialize in precisely 5 aspects of arithmetic...addition, subtraction, multiplication, division and if you haven't guessed already, (shame on you!) % interest for the loan they give out to fellows like us! Anything remotely connected to 'x' and 'y' or angles would almost guarantee outcast status....inspite of knowing that, Dumma did his engineering...go figure!

One dis-honorable mention por favor....Dumma was the ONLY person in the class to REFUSE to BUNK an SOM (Strength of Materials) class in the second year! Even all the girls (ahem...only 4 in a class of 30) walked out....The prof. taught him in the staff room as he was the only one around! That was his dedication to studies and lack of concern for his fellow students!

There's much more to talk about...but it's Dumma's birthday and I dont want to make any more trouble than I already have...so I'll let you off the hook.....for now!

Cheers! Have a wonderful birthday and a long and happy life Dummudu!! :-)

P.S. Old Shetty Saying (remember Phantom?) - IF YO ASS CAN'T COUNT IT, IT DOESN'T EXIST!! :-)